Clearing Clouds of Apprehension

Dear Jenzie, 

The reason for this post is to lay out some thoughts - almost like a collage on a pin-board. I've been having anxiety about all the unknowns of my life, but it's been a different kind of anxiety than I have ever experienced before. It is anxiety with a very calm demeanor. I know that God is always listening to my prayers and thoughts; I believe that is why my anxiety is so calm. It is not frantic or chaotic. 

Anxiety is trying to invade my mind, but it is struggling to do so. I think of it almost like a foreign substance trying to intoxicate my cells that contain God at the very core. The anxiety tries to trickle in, punching at the outside layers of the cell. In essence, it is clouding everything around these cells shielded by God because my faith and hope refuse to let fear inside.

Times like this remind me to devote time to the Lord. 

To set time aside for Him. 

To communicate with Him.

To give it ALL to Him. 

To let go and LET GOD.

"For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." - Isaiah 41:13 

"Fear tries to get us to give up, but faith takes us all the way through to victory!" - Joyce Meyer

In closing, my game plan is to reignite my relationship with the Lord in some profound and amazing way. I have my usual routines of worship and prayer, but I need to continue to do more. 

And with time, God will help guide me to do more and more because I WANT to. I'm yearning to.

Bloom and Blossom

Hi Jessie,

Good morning. I want to share a story that took place this past Sunday at our last home baseball (and event) of the season. 

I was hanging out with my student workers under a canopy at the entrance of the ballpark. We were halfway through the game and ready to enjoy the rest of the day (don't get us wrong - we love our Pepperdine Waves). I love speaking with my student workers about their life, interests, etc. The fifth inning of the game seemed to be dragging for hours (I am exaggerating of course). So I decided...let's all share one random fact about each other that nobody would guess about them.

That is when things began to bloom. As we continued in a circle, sharing truths about our lives, we began to blossom like May flowers (good analogy, right?). Honesty was cultivating within the circle of our storytelling. We started off with basic things and slowly moved over to more heavy truths. There was a strong sense of trust as we actively listened to one another. Whether these truths were random facts, aspirations, past life events or current circumstances - they all brought us closely together. Our mutual love for God and relationship with Him allowed us to engage in fellowship under the canopy. We confided in one another. 

I am a firm believer that if we all knew more about each other, the world would get along. Often we put up these plates of armor that protect our vulnerability. We fear judgement. We fear failure. We fear so many unknowns. Because yes, the unknowns of our lives can be scary.

But under that canopy, we were there to love. And we felt that love. And we wanted to remind each other that at the end of the day, love will always remain. 

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

 - 1 Thessalonians 5:8

Keep on, Keeping on

Dear Jamil,

Here I am waiting last minute to write my post when it was my idea for us to blog today :) I am at my friends house watching Greys Anatomy feeling blessed as we catch up and we watch her new born baby on the monitor.

I will write more later but I wanted to post some shots from my amazing weekend and where my heart is truly at home.

 

 

I was able to go down to Cali and run a 5k for The Jessie Rees Foundation

This past winter a little girl named Jessie stole my heart

I have since then made it my mission to help her continue her dream of spreading JOY

I dont know why this charity has stole my heart but it did

My heart has found a passion so deep I never thought was possible

A passion and desire to forever help bring children hope, joy and a future

Have you ever had a glimpse of what you think God is calling you to do?

Just a little taste of what your future holds, your dreams and goals?

I did last weekend when I decided to run the 5k

After the race I met my friends by the charity table

Just being around your best friends and having them suport you is an amazing feeling

But I felt like I needed to talk to the founder and father of Jessie

His name is Erik Rees

I read all about the charity online and the letters he writes to his daughter in heaven

I am forever inspried by his strength and faith

I needed to tell him

If you know me, you know I can be a little reserved so after talking myself in and out of doing it I found a the right time and walked up and introduced myself

A blink of a moment

That was all it took for me to see the glimpse of my purpose

We chatted for a few minutes

I told him how inspiring him and his family were

We talked about the weather and our SPU connection

He then told me thank you and hugged me goodbye

 

It is not goodbye

It is only the beginning if what I truly believe is my future

I kept telling myself "this is real, this is happneing"

I felt like I was in a dream

My dreams

They are becoming true and real

 

I am back home in Seattle now

Sometimes I feel my heart becoming heavy

I am yearning for God to teach me to just TRUST

Trust He has me

Trust He will work things out

Trust He has something absolutely amazing in store for my life

So much more than I can ever imagine

A life that radically shows that He is God of all

A life that honors & serves Him

A life that fills , rocks and shakes me to the core of my being

 

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more

than all we ask or imagine, according to his power

 that is at work within us"

Ephesians 3:20

 

However, I must not forget to be thankful during this time of waiting

Wait Intentaionally.

Wait and rememeber that moment chating with Erik

That glimpse, that taste of my future

That moment my dreams slowing becoming reality

Our God is BIG so should our goals and dreams!

I dont want to barley get by

Our God created us to be brave, created to excel, to live a life of adventure and to take risks!

What is next God?

Less is More

Hi Jessie,

For the past year I was blessed with the most amazing intern I could possibly hope for. She has become a lifetime friend - we confide in one another and share a strong relationship with God. Every now and then I will share a snapshot of my daily devotional with her. On the day of her graduation, God gave Alexis and I a necessary reminder.

Graduation can be a scary time. The structure of day-to-day life goes away - it is time for the "real world" as they call it. We think to ourselves that we must stride ahead on a journey full-force, with an immediate demand to accomplish things quickly and alone. We want the dream job. We want the dream life. We want, want, we want. 

But in all actuality, self-sufficiency is a myth perpetuated by pride and temporary success. 

We are NOTHING without HIM. 

God says, "Yes, you are going to lack things in life, but consider those a blessing." They bring us closer to Him.

It gives us an opportunity to latch onto Him in unashamed dependence. 

Whether we found ourselves as a recent college graduate, or a hard-working professional, we are always left with a level of uncertainty. We think WAY too much about what lays ahead - and it almost seems natural to do. Where is life taking me? What is my purpose? When will I find my special partner?

God awaits us in the present - that is where we belong. I visualize myself as His child, holding his hand. I am walking right next to Him. I'm never a step behind or a pace in front - I am always near and next to Him.

"Consider it pure joys, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds." James 1:2

Pure joy - that is what I seek.